Guitarist | Producer | Songwriter | Vocalist

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Good reading for me today-

Today’s thought from Hazelden is:

Worry and Stress

"Make plans but don’t plan results." This is a simple phrase cautioning us against unnecessary worry and stress.

If our plans involve other people, we would be wise to work joyfully toward realizing our dreams, but we should not expect or worry if others do not want the same goals. Nor should we worry if others are not as enthused about our ideas as we are. We know, by applying the Serenity Prayer, that we can only change ourselves; we cannot force changes in others.

Another cause of unnecessary stress in planning results comes from our ingrained habit of regarding ourselves as inadequate. All too often, those of us who make plans give up on ourselves when we predict the outcome of our dreams on the basis of our past experiences. We falsely conclude that because we failed or felt empty in the past, we’ll most certainly not succeed in the future; thus, we quit too soon and rationalize our resignation with a “Why bother to try?” attitude.

TODAY I will make plans but not plan results. I will work out my plan, one day at a time, knowing that my past performance is NOT an infallible indicator of my present or future success. I will look forward with hope, not despair.

Dogs be barking-

This too shall pass

To bands-

A good tech is worth the money. Plenty of people get paid for nothing in this buisness. Money spent on a good crew who secures your live show and preserves the quality of the show for the fans is money well spent.

Change is a good thing…sometimes a great thing

When I lay my head down at night I know that I did a service for any money I receive. That I worked and sacrificed something to have it. I did not steal it, manipulate it from anyone. I did a job. That feels good. I respect people who work for what they have. The ones that take and take and don’t have a clear picture of what service they actually provide to get that money….Shame on you and if you can still sleep at night, well then your worse than I thought.

Never lose control of your business. All information should be available so smart decisions can be made. Period

My mind is heavy

Hitting the sack- long day. Some days you have certain conversations that reveal a lot of truth. Sometimes it can be an ugly truth. Good or bad it’s explains where you stand with the other person. I learned something valuable today. That some individuals you come across will never allow a sensible dialouge to take place. With some people they are not capable of showing mutual respect and their condescending tones shut off compassion and progress.
I’m thankful for my family- I’m thankful for the brotherhood of my band and that I can confide in them and lean on them out here when conflict arises in life. We have spent many years together and we have had our share personal issues but always stand up for each other in the end. Today they helped me more than they know. And a guy who I worked very close with stood by me today. It feels good to have that in life. That someone takes enough time to know you well enough that they support you always and you can’t wait for the time where they will need you.
That wins- always. So if your lucky enough to have that type of bond with anyone I suggest you keep them close and always stay honest with them. So today ended up being a good day- I saw the two sides of people, the not so pleasent and the family sticks together side. So yeah- today was good.
God bless- and always try to grow, never stop trying to be a better person. I still have a long way to go. But I’m working on it.
Love wins

In the end- truth, faith, love and hard work win. Everytime

Change

Can’t sleep- riding down the road somewhere between Boston and Clifton Park and it’s 6:30an. Show was good in Boston, spirits are high. Day off today and I’m planning on doing what I do on everyday off. Workout, eat, work on music and go to a movie. Exciting right?….riiiight. For me it is. Workout clears my mind and gets me stronger, the food well..you know, the music fills the soul and the movie is my escape from reality. For two hours I can sit and experience another story. I love the previews, the whole process of going to movie. Not to mention that my dream gig would be scoring films. I can’t think of a cooler job. Creating the musical background that provokes certain types of emotion and help create tension, happiness, fear etc. Music is such a huge factor in setting up scenes.
Hopefully that will pan out one day.
Today I had some good conversations with some good people. Everyone in your life shares a lesson with you. Some inspire you, motivate you, some show you what “not” to do. You can take what you need and leave the rest behind. I know for me I’m inspired by people who want to change and evolve. Men and women who aren’t doing exactly what everyone else is doing or living their life worrying about other people. Sometimes change scares the hell out of people. The older I get the fear of nothing changing is WAY more terrifying than simply switching up the mindset and patterns of life. Everyday I try to do one small thing different, even if it’s as simple as putting on my shoes on a different foot at a time. Something to show some growth. Life without change isn’t living to me, it’s exsisting but not living.
The older I get the more of a hermit I can become. I think some days that’s good and some days it can be bad. On one hand I can be alone out here at times and be so at peace with that. So many people can’t stand to be alone, they get depressed or weirded out by it. When you spend 70 percent of your life crammed on a bus with 11 guys and play shows for people you need a little alone time. I do anyway, just to unplug from it all and reset. One of the best gifts I’ve received in sobreity is peace and that means being still. I can simply be still these days and when I’m alone I have conversations with God. These conversations aren’t totally different than one I’d have with a best friend or father or mother figure. For me it’s called meditation and it’s a good time to listen. In silence I can pull that off a lil easier.
Going to the bad side of being a hermit, if I “isolate” too much I cut myself off from the oppritunties to be of service to others, to hear messages and see signs through others, to get out of myself. That’s the biggest thing of all.
The reason I can’t sleep at this moment right now…I’m homesick. I simply miss my wife and kids. I’m aware fully of what I’m doing out here and why I’m gone but that doesn’t help me miss them any less. I miss hearing them laugh, cry, calling out “daddy, daddy” seeing my wife with them. All the normal things. Each day I’m not with them I feel like I miss a lil piece of their lives. But thank God for an understanding wife who supports the dream I have of playing music and holds it down while I’m gone.
The trust we have is unbroken, the seal isn’t cracked at all. We are faithful and reliable to eachother. That’s the only way this works. You can’t be away from each other and be worrying about whether or not your “behaving” or keeping your nose clean. With all she does for us and our children the last thing I’m gonna do is make her worry about stuff like that. It’s hard enough being seperated this long I don’t need to add that additional stress. In the early years of touring I lived that other life and it tore me apart. You can have it.
I’m gonna try and go back to sleep. I’m thankful for so many things today. I can honestly live within today. Life is gonna change me whether I want to or not. So the best we can all do is embrace the day we have right now and appreciate the people, good and bad we encounter.
God bless
C

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